The second thing I've learned, is the importance of Satisfying your husband.
I know this can be a touchy subject and some of us may not want to hear this today or ever, but I know the Lord has laid it on my heart to talk to you about this. So here we go.
Ladies, I know you are in an exhausting season of your lives with your little ones and that's often the last thing your thinking about throughout the day. You've spent your day making meals, cleaning up meals, dressing children, playing with toys, cleaning up toys, washing laundry, running errands, and wiping everything from countertops to rear ends. Your day is exhausting- no question about that. Let me tell you from experience that while your daily routine may change, your level of exhaustion generally will not.
Now, I'm not trying to discourage, just being real. I feel like I have days now where I am more exhausted then when I had 5 under 9 at home.
My point is that you can't use exhaustion as an excuse not to be with your husband if you're thinking you'll be able to reconnect and satisfy later when you have more energy or more time. Welcome to Motherhood!
I made a decision early on that I wanted to be the one my husband wanted, dreamed about and desired forever. So I learned what the Bible had to say about intimacy and sex in a marriage.
Sexual intimacy is another area that our world has completely twisted, causing all sorts of sexual confusion and perversion. We've been told our bodies are ours to govern, and they are outside of marriage. But once we become one before God with our husbands, our bodies belong also to our husbands. This is not meant to be something that is not fun and causes tension in a marriage. Rather it is a precious gift that God has given to married couples and when we focus on it that way, it will change our whole outlook and our marriages will be richly blessed in intimacy and so much more.
This is not meant to be something that is not fun and causes tension in a marriage. Rather it is a precious gift that God has given to married couples
Okay, so we know it doesn't take much for our husbands to get in the mood. But for us, it takes a little more effort on our parts to get ourselves into a frame of mind where we can be attentive to our husbands needs.
I would encourage you to creatively explore ways you can be more available to satisfy your husband and he in turn, you. For as much as Paul instructs the men to be available for the wife, and the wife to be available for the husband, we need to keep in mind that sex is for mutual pleasure. Both are to be satisfied. Both are to serve.
Now let's think about this in the ways we are different. Intimacy for most women comes in knowing that our husbands love us. It's in things like handholding or snuggling on the couch during a movie. We feel loved when our husbands do the dishes, fold the laundry, or bring us coffee in the morning. Where we might be able to get by just knowing that our husbands love us, our husbands don't think in the same way.
Love for them comes in the intimacy of sex. They feel most loved when we are fully connecting with them in the moment of intimacy. For as much as you might not be thinking about making love to your husband tonight, chances are HE is thinking about making love to you.
Maybe you need to exercise more for yourself so you feel better about presenting yourself to him-not because of him, but because you will feel sexier with good exercise.
Maybe you need to occasionally hit places like Victoria's Secret or the lingerie racks at department stores to bring a little spice to the relationship.
Maybe, and the most important thing here, is you need to commit this topic to prayer asking God to renew your passion and give you energy to seize any opportunity that may arise.
And let's be honest, ladies, there is temptation all over the place for our men. From commercials to magazines, TV shows to the Internet, to simply how some women dress, it doesn't take much to get a mans juices flowing. Yes, we're going to be tired. Yes, we're going to want to go to bed as soon as possible. And No, we might not always be in the mood as often as they are. But if we forget how important sex is to our husbands, we run the risk of temptation rearing it's ugly head in our marriages. God knew that, that's why he had Paul write to the church in Corinth concerning intimacy in marriage.
I promise you, if you make the effort to woo your husband, you will find it to be worth it in the long run.
Ladies, there is temptation all over the place for our men.
Thanks for taking the time to read The Higham Family Blog. Each week we try to share new content about something we are learning, something we love, or something to offer encouragement to the family. We love to hear from our readers, so please share your thought in the comment section of each post.