We're about a week out. It was last Wednesday morning that I (Jay) went to have my vasectomy. It wasn't something I was looking forward to. And now, 7 days later, I'm still working to overcome some mild discomfort, I've had some time to reflect about my experience.
Amy and I have had many conversations about birth control and what we thought and felt about taking steps to towards permanent birth control. Until now, our position was determined by our faith. We tried to keep it simply, trust God to provide. We trusted God to give us children, keep them healthy and provide what was needed to take care for them.
From the very beginning of our relationship we have been okay with the idea of having a larger family. Honestly, I think it was something that drew us together; the idea of a big family. I wanted to be a pastor working with students and their families. Amy wanted to be a stay at home mom, caring for our family. And for 18 years, that's how it was.
Today we have 5 amazing, healthy, wonderful kids. But we have also had 5 painful miscarriages.
But after an ultrasound and a heartbeat check, Amy went into early labor and at 17 weeks we lost another one. We were crushed and we again took time to grief.
Now it was time to have a serious discussion.
After much prayer we decided that we would go with permanent birth control. Unwilling to risk Amy's health, and not wanting to have to go through the pain of another miscarriage, we decided that I would have a vasectomy. We felt that it was the best option for us for where we are in our relationship, for our family, and for what God was doing with our ministry.
I have to say, while I wasn't nervous about the procedure, I was sad. A vasectomy means that our baby-making days are truly over.
The procedure itself went perfectly, at least so I was told. I choose to have my procedure done at the local surgery center instead of in the office. Personally, I'd rather be under general anesthesia instead of local. And for me, that was great. I was asleep shortly after being rolled into the OR and didn't wake up till I was in recovering.
Amy drove me home and I slept off the anesthesia. Pain was moderate, easily managed with Ibuprofen and a per scripted medication that I only took twice. Amy made sure I iced as required; 20 minutes on, 20 minutes off for over 48 hours post-op. By Thursday I was feeling pretty good. I experienced some pain, but it wasn't too bad.
Friday, like Thursday, was spent in bed. The pain was now a dull ache, and as long as I was careful, I was able to move around the house. Saturday morning rolled around and I made the mistake of trying to do a few chores around the house. By mid-afternoon I was feeling a lot of discomfort. And by Sunday morning I was feeling pretty sore. The lesson...TAKE IT EASY!!
For the rest of Sunday, I did my best to lie low and just rest. I took a personal day, skipped church and canceled youth group, all with the hopes of mending. However, knowing I had to go to work on Monday, I knew I needed to stretch my legs a bit, so Amy and I went for a walk.
All in all, I'm feeling pretty good. There is still a considerable ache that hasn't gone away, but I am hoping that it will pass soon. I am walking, slowly, but at least I'm upright. (I was hunched over till Sunday.) Monday, I will return to the office. Our student ministry has a retreat at the end of the week so I have to get back and get ready for that.
Personally, I am good with our decision. Sure, no vasectomy would have been great, but I know that this was the right decision for us. Our marriage is strong and healthy, and it's only going to become stronger and healthier. And for that, I am very glad.
Merry Christmas! And thanks for visiting The Higham Family blog & vlog!
We are kicking off a short series of vlogs as we celebrate Christmas! To get things rolling, we went to visit a local park to see some Christmas lights.
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Yesterday was November 1st, a day that has become known as the first day of No Shave November. For the next 30 days, men will delay their normal practice of having a clean shaven face in attempts to grow a beard. Like many, I too have participated in the month long event. But this year, as I prepared to put down my razor, I thought that I would take a look at the birth of No Shave November.
When I got online to begin to search out the origins of No Shave November, I found a number of different reasons for No Shave November. While no one article contradicted another, it interesting to see so many variations. So here is what I found.
For many in the college years of life, November is a month of cramming and preparing for the end of the semester. Papers, finals, and the busyness of the end of classes can keep a diligent student pretty busy. Some time ago, guys started put down their razors during the month of November. While there doesn't appear to be any real connection between the shaving strike and the end of the semester, it seemed like a great excuse to avoid shaving for a month.
Along with No Shave November, you might hear of Movember. According to one source, the term, Movember, was coined in 1999 by a group of Aussies who instead of growing out all of their facial hair focused on just growing a mustache. In 2004, this group of 30, created the mustache event to raise awareness for prostate cancer and depression in men. That movement has since grown and become a sizable fundraiser for various cancer research projects.
Today, No Shave November has grown into a month of awareness for men's health issues. Along with the cancer awareness, many use the month to highlight and promote routine check ups, healthier lifestyle choices and education for men. In instance, the Today Show (NBC) runs a month long series that looks into mens health. www.today.com/health/how-check-yourself-no-shave-movember-t104550
Now all of that is great. I think it is good that men are encouraged to care for themselves. But let's not focus on just the physical health of men. Let's also consider the spiritual health of men. If November is a month where men can embrace the manhood, then let's also embrace our spiritual manhood! Let's explore what it looks like to be godly-men who are passionate about their faith, family, and responsibility to lead. Let's talk about what it looks like for men to be godly husbands and fathers. Let's talk about what it looks like when men sharpen iron with iron.
As a man, a husband, a father, a pastor, and a leader, I find that I am often craving manly relationships; godly men to mentor me, good guys to hang out with, close friends to confide in. Guys need guys, whether we realize it or not. The trouble is, we don't allow ourselves the time to forge those types of relationships. And sadly, we're the one who suffer.
So what can we do? Well, if we can make November a month to talk about a guys physical health, why not use November to also talk about our spiritual health? Let's make some time to be guys. Let's get open and honest and realize that we need each other.
Women, encourage your man to seek out other godly men. Pray for them that they might build new relationships. And together, maybe we can help men become spiritually healthy as well.
- the higham family
What say you? Could you or your husband use a little attention in the spiritual health department? Have you benefitted from a godly mentor, a small groups, or just some good guy time? Share your thoughts and experiences and encourage someone today! Comment below and share your story! Thanks!
Start talking about essential oils and most people think, oh, that's for the ladies. But that's not necessarily true. At least not anymore. Essential oils are beneficial for guys, too! The problem is, most men don't know that much about essential oils!
That was true for me. Hi, it's Jay writing this post.
And it was true. When Amy started using essential oils, I really didn't want anything to do with them. I thought, that oils were a women-think. But then I started using them. And well, I'm not ashamed to say, I was wrong. Essential Oils are for men, too!
This weekend on the Young Living Essential Oils blog, this post was shared, The Manly Man's Guide to Essential Oils. As a novice, but wanting to learn more, I wanted to share the post here on the family blog because, as you know, we are Young Living Independent Distributors. One of our goals in working with oils is to share the benefits of using oils with both women AND men!
I have already started sharing some of my essential oils story, and how they have helped me. But this post was incredibly helpful in expanding what I was thinking in regards to essential oils. Some of the products listed I'm already using!
So here's the deal...
Guys, check this out.
And ladies, if your guys aren't into the oils yet, print out the post and share it with them! It might help them discover the benefits of using essential oils.
Go ahead, click below on the graphic and read the article.
And remember, you can place your essential oils order with us! Just contact us via our email or on social media and let us know that you are interested in learning more about essential oils. We would be more than happy to help you!
Thanks for taking the time to read The Higham Family Blog. Each week we try to share new content about something we are learning, something we love, or something to offer encouragement to the family. We love to hear from our readers, so please share your thought in the comment section of each post.