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10 Things To Do To Love On Your Spouse

2/23/2017

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So let's be honest, life moves at the speed of light. Blink and you miss it. And with a household full of busy schedules,  sometimes things get overlooked, even holidays.
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If you have a busy family, you know that life can get in the way of, well...life. Last Tuesday was Valentine's Day. In the Higham house, Valentine's Day was just another day. We did our best to celebrate. Jay made heart shaped pancakes for breakfast and a chicken and shrimp alfredo for dinner.  But the reality is, it was just another day, especially since the next day was Jay's vasectomy. So it was decided that we would celebrate Valentine's Day at a later date. 

So with the month quickly coming to a close, the question now is, "What can we still do before the end of February?"

Well, here are 10, last minute things you can do for and with your spouse before the end of February.
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10 Things To Do...

  1. Schedule dinner at your favorite restaurant.
  2. Schedule a lunch date.
  3. Write a love note and leave it on their pillow.
  4. Prepare breakfast for them.
  5. Go on a walk in the evening.
  6. Sit and watch a movie together.
  7. Binge watch your favorite TV show together.
  8. Go window shopping at the local mall.
  9. Make a quiet, romantic dinner at home.
  10. Read a book together.
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The month is running out. It will soon be March. February will soon be over. But let's not miss out on a last minute chance to spend some time with your spouse. 10 fun things to do with your spouse before the end of the month!

Have fun!

​- the higham family

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3 Events for Couples

6/27/2016

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As we think about encouraging the family, we recognize the importance of the marriage. It is so easy for a husband and wife to get lost as they busy themselves being mom and dad. Don't get lost! Take the time to strengthen your marriage! Today, we're talking about your marriage!
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Amy and I totally believe that as a husband and a wife, we need to make sure we give our marriage the necessary time and attention so it stays strong and healthy, and ready for when the busyness is over. To accomplish this, we have participated in a couple marriage conferences/seminars that have helped us to deepen the intimacy and longevity of our marriage.

Today we want to share a couple of those conferences/seminars with you. And we're doing it early, because these events are coming up later this fall!

A Weekend to Remember

We attended our first Weekend to Remember in 2000. We had only been married for 4 years. But we already had 2 kids, relocated for work 3 times, bought our first home, and moved away from all of our family and friends. The weekend was the perfect opportunity to for us to touch base and retool a little. Our most recent Weekend to Remember was in 2013. I was the lead pastor at a church plant, we relocated the family, again, and we needed the time to reconnect.
The Weekend to Remember really is a weekend which allows you to step away from the busyness of life and step into a place where you are a way and able to reconnect, emotionally, physically and spiritually. The materials and the speakers are tailored to quickly connect couples with the principles and tools that produce stronger, healthier marriages.

This fall, the Weekend to Remember Marriage Getaway is coming to a city near you. click on the link below, to see how close a Weekend to Remember weekend will be to you. Here in Western, PA, there will be 2 weekends; November 11-13, 2016 and December 03-04, 2016. Both weekends will take place in Cranberry, PA, just minutes from Pittsburgh and it's surrounding areas.

The cost for the weekend is only $150.00 (per-person) for the conference, plus your hotel stay. (And unless you can send the kids away for the weekend, I would suggest you find a way to stay at the hotel.)

Click on the link and register for the next Weekend to Remember!
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The Summit

The Summit is a conference for the blended family. Overcoming the challenges of blending families can be daunting. The Summit looks to help couples, church leaders, and families discover how to build ministries that minister and care for blended families.

This conference takes place in Colorado Springs, CO, from September 29-30, 2016.
As a student pastor/church leader, this conference is one that I am interested. I know I see blended families on a regular bases. I want to be sure that we are working to meet the unique needs of the blended family. If you're in the same boat, may I suggest you consider The Summit!

Click on the link below to learn more.
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The Art of Marriage

The Art of Marriage is AWESOME! In 2015, Amy and I led The Art of Marriage for our little church. For us, it was a great reminder of how important it is to work on the our relationship and it's spiritual components.

We often think of marriage as raising kids, pay bills, managing a home, keep careers, and working to make it through another year. But marriage needs to be set on a biblical foundation.
The Art of Marriage is a small group resource that takes a group of couples back into God's Word to look and understand his initial design and purpose for marriage. This video based material includes real stories from real couples, incredible teaching from some of the most respected and trusted bible teachers and discussion questions that will truly get you and your spouse talking.

I am looking to host The Art of Marriage sometime during the next school year (2016-2017). So be sure to watch the blog for an announcement with details. If you would like to host a The Art of Marriage event, or you would like to know where and when an event is happening near you, visit the website for details. 
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Hi we're Jay & Amy, and we've been married for 20 years and are super blessed to be busy raising our 5 kids; 4 boys and 1 girl! We juggle the adventures of life and full-time ministry and share what we are learning as it relates to marriage, family, raising kids, serving in the church, and chasing after Jesus. We know that raising a family is hard work, especially in today's culture. But our hope is to encourage you and your family, as we live for the glory of God. This is our story.
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8 Day's to Intimacy - Day Five

2/22/2016

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Welcome back as we continue our 8 day challenge to intimacy. Last week we looked at the first half of our challenge, this week we want to wrap up the second half with the last 4 days.
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Today, our scripture readings take us to one of my (Jay) most favorite scriptures in the bible, Philippians 2:1-11. The first time I was really introduced to these words was my first mission trip as a student. We we're told to memories these verses, and to remember them as we prepared for and entered the mission field. We we're told that as we think about what it looks like to love and minister to others, these words are powerful reminders of how Jesus came to love and serve.

These verses have stayed with me ever since. We often quote parts of these verses as we remind our kids how they are to, "consider others better then themselves..." As you read these verses with your spouse today, think about how love and ministry impacts not just your marriage but your family.

Day Five's Scripture Readings

Reading One:
Philippians 2:1-11
Husbands, read these verses today. As you do, listen for the heart of what Paul is writing. When it comes to living as Christ, what must we do?
Reading Two:
Song of Solomon/Song of Songs 5
Chapter 5 is another split reading.
Guys read verses 1 and 9.
​Ladies read verses 2-8, and 10-16.

Discussion Questions

Question 1:
- Paul begins by attempting to unite believers by being "like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and of one mind." If Paul was sitting with you right now, how would you respond to him. Are you like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and of one mind?

Question 2:
- To do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. What does that mean for your marriage as you think about the roles of husband and wife?

Question 3:
​- In verse 5, Paul says specifically, "In YOUR relationships with one another, have the same mindset of Christ Jesus," then lays down a huge statement of how Jesus lived and died. In light of these words, is there any room for improvement in how each of you loves and cares for each other, and the others in your family? 

A Prayer for Both of You

Gracious and loving Father, who spared not your son, but gave him willingly to make grace possible for us, we pray and ask that you would help us live the way that Jesus lived, as humble servants, laying aside our own ambitions, and picking up the cares of those around. Help us to love each other, finding joy in the shared heart and mind that comes from Christ, through his Spirit. We pray this in Jesus name, Amen
Remember, you can add to this prayer time by praying for the needs and asks
that you have for your relationship and family.

Now Go and Be Together

Something incredible happens when we step outside of our self to put someone else interest and needs before our own. This week, as you finish the 8 day challenge, be on the look out for specific ways that you can deepen the intimacy of your relationship by taking on the mindset of Jesus Christ, and becoming a humble servant.

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Hi we're Jay & Amy, and we've been married for 19 years and are super blessed to be busy raising our 5 kids; 4 boys and 1 girl! We juggle the adventures of life and ministry and share what we are learning as it relates to marriage, family, raising kids, serving in the church, and chasing after Jesus. Raising a family is hard work, especially in today's culture. But our hope is to encourage you and your family, as we live for the glory of God.

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8 Day's to Intimacy - Day Four

2/18/2016

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Half way point! Day Four!

​We hope and pray that you and your spouse are finding new ways to reach deeper intimacy.
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Marriage. It's a covenantal bond, created by God to bring a man and a woman together in holy intimacy. Since the Garden, marriage has been under attack. The evil one is clever, conniving, and unrelenting. In our readings today, we're going to look at something the Apostle Paul wrote about how we are to live as believers. We often read these verses in light of our individuality. That is, as a believer, Paul suggests that I live in this manner. But what if we were to look at these verses in the context of our marriage? How would we respond to his words as "one flesh"? Intimacy isn't always about being physical. Intimacy is a place where as husband and wife we can be completely honest and open about what's in our hearts and on our minds. As you read through Paul's words to the church, think about what it would take to be totally honest and open with your spouse with the struggles you face. What might change if you started praying for each others struggles? What would it look like to be living with the peace of Christ, ruling in your hearts?

Day Four's Scripture Readings

Reading One:
Colossians 3:1-19
In today's reading we are reminded of our identity in Jesus Christ, being made alive in Him. Paul provides a challenge in how we are to live.
We add verse 18 & 19, because we want to see what it's like to live Paul's word out in our marriages.

Reading Two:
Song of Solomon/Song of Songs 4
Chapter 4 is another split reading.
Guys read verses 1 and 9.
​Ladies read verses 2-8, and 10-16.

Discussion Questions

Question 1:
- Paul provides quite a challenge for the believer; "set our minds on things above, not on earthly things." He then lists all of the things that we are to "put to death." What would change in your marriage if you worked to eliminate these items from your relationship?

Question 2:
- As you go through Paul's list, what parts of the "earthly nature" do you struggle with the most? Be honest and share we each other where you struggle the most, then agree to pray for each other in these areas.

Question 3:
​- In verses 18 and 19, we see two words that often cause many of us to take a step back; SUBMIT and LOVE. Read through verse 12 to 17. Considering what Paul writes in these verses, is it possible that when we live in such a manner, a wife may submit to her husband as to the Lord, and a husband love his wife? Why? How?

A Prayer for Both of You

Heavenly Father, You have rescued us, raised us up with Christ, help us to set our heart on things that are above, where Christ is seated. Give us a passion to chase after You, our minds set on You and not here on Earth. Through Christ, help us to be freed from the temptations of our earthly nature and to walk in your ways. Help us to live as Your chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothed in Your love and grace. And allow that love and grace to be the love and grace that we show to each other as we learn how to live in loving submission before. In Jesus name we pray, Amen.
Remember, you can add to this prayer time by praying for the needs and asks
that you have for your relationship and family.

Now Go and Be Together

Being completely open and honest with our spouse is a powerful way to live. Without secrets, we live free; free to love and be loved. In some ways, it's like living in grace. When we know God's gift of grace, we find ourselves not condemned, but redeemed. Instead of God's wrath, we experience God's love. You see, when we know we are loved, we want to come to God for His forgiveness, because He promises to forgive us. It makes His grace endless. This can also be said of our marriages. When we live in grace with our spouses, it draws us together and makes us stronger. What does that look like? Well, it comes in knowing that when we make a mistake or offend our spouse, there's grace and forgiveness at the end of our apologies. That makes it easier to bring what we've kept in the dark into the light. When everything is in the light, there's nothing to hide. And when there's nothing to hide, freedom is found. And where we find freedom, well, intimacy is deeper and richer! Embrace the light. And enjoy the freedoms that come with your love for each other!

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Hi we're Jay & Amy, and we've been married for 19 years and are super blessed to be busy raising our 5 kids; 4 boys and 1 girl! We juggle the adventures of life and ministry and share what we are learning as it relates to marriage, family, raising kids, serving in the church, and chasing after Jesus. Raising a family is hard work, especially in today's culture. But our hope is to encourage you and your family, as we live for the glory of God.

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    Thanks for taking the time to read The Higham Family Blog. Each week we try to share new content about something we are learning, something we love, or something to offer encouragement to the family. We love to hear from our readers, so please share your thought in the comment section of each post.

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  • FAMILY HOME
    • About this Blog
    • Contact us
    • MEET THE FAMILY >
      • About Jay
      • About Amy
      • Family Fun >
        • Meet the Farm Friends
        • The Higham Family Vacation 2015
        • Kennywood Part 2
        • 4th of July 2015 Parade
        • 4th of July Dinner
        • Philadelphia Zoo 2015
        • A Day at the Playground 2015
        • Afternoon at Springhouse 2014
        • Trip to Penn State
  • THE BLOG
  • FAMILY COMMAND CENTER
    • FOR YOUR MARRIAGE
    • FOR PARENTS >
      • Discipline and the Bible
    • FOR THE KIDS >
      • 12 Days Till Christmas >
        • 12 Days Till Christmas 2015
    • FOR THE HOME >
      • FAVORITE PRODUCTS
      • FAVORITE RECIPES
      • GET ORGANIZED >
        • Weekly Menu Printable
    • THE BOOK STORE
    • SHOP AMAZON
  • SHOP
    • Life in the Higham House
    • Kids Tees
    • In A Word Tees
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